Last week I asked you:
Are you willing to be juicy, confident, sensual, and sexual with the body you have today?
What was your answer?
Was it something like:
I know I would like to feel that way but I’d rather lose weight first.
It’s not a question of willingness, I’m just being realistic: I know I won’t feel sexy while I’m the size I am.
If I say I’m willing to be like that with my body as it is, that’s like giving up on having a better body.
If you did come up with an answer similar to the ones above, what question were you really answering?
Perhaps it was:
Are you willing to believe that you can be juicy, confident, sensual, and sexual with the body you have today?
Are you willing to accept that you can be juicy, confident, sensual, and sexual with the body you have today?
Remember the example I gave of my own answer to a willingness question? When I asked myself if I was willing to let go of my overeating, it opened up a stream of other questions, all of which led to the crux of the matter:
Am I willing to let go of my resistance to change?
There may be lots of other questions you want to ask yourself to learn more about your willingness to be sexy at any size. But really it all boils down to one thing:
Are you willing to continue to defer your own pleasure, to carry on disapproving of your own body, and to keep waiting for some unknown time in the future when you feel slim enough to allow yourself to enjoy your body and sex?
Are you going to support yourself to feel juicy, confident, sensual and sexual with the body you have today?
There is a brilliant quote from Anais Nin that sums this up for me:
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
My day has come with my overeating. It is now more painful to continue eating to avoid my feelings than it is to experience them. I would rather face my fears and any discomfort and let go of my need for resistance to change. I no longer want to stay in the pretend safety of familiarity. I would rather take a risk and allow myself to blossom.
How about you? What would you rather do?
Are you willing to let go of your need for resistance to change?
Are you willing to take a risk and blossom?
Are you willing to love, enjoy and approve of your body at any size?
Please do ask yourself these questions (and any others that arise for you) and please do listen to your answers. You have a lot of self-knowledge and wisdom.
I understand about the desire for a slimmer body. I used to be waiting for that day too. I dieted and exercised; lost and regained weight; refused dinner invitations and held back during sex.
I’m not asking you to give up on your dreams; I’m asking you to expand your dreams! To give yourself permission to live and enjoy life now.
To let go of your resistance to change and to embrace your beautiful, sexual, sensual self just as you are today, and just as you will be tomorrow, and the next day, and the next – whatever size or shape that may be.
Over the next week you can try a simple experiment. Look in the mirror and look into your own eyes. Gently touch your throat and say out loud: “I am willing to let go of my resistance to change.”
Repeat this phrase as often as you can and just be aware of your response – your thoughts, actions, and emotions.
I’d love to know how you are feeling about all this. Please share your thoughts and experiences in the comments box below.
Read Part 3 here